A History of Women and Me

After editing most of the posts besides the TFA one and rethinking my black woman post, I decided to write a little about women and me. I'm not going to use names nor am I really going to even be specific as to who is who in the stories.  This is less about them and more about me and them.

Anyways, I'm going to start off by saying that I never had that cootie phase.  I was into girls or at least the idea of the opposite sex since I was probably 5 years old. I sure had intriguing motives back then; ranging from trying to get girls to beat me up to watching the muscular women on American Gladiators -both accounts explain a lot. As such, I was a fan of puppy love and had really funny moments in elementary school; which set-up an intriguing revelation for me….I think I was far too forward on people in elementary school as simply put, the girls weren't in that mind set.

Moving along to middle school, I was so awkward and out of my element. I'd get rejected or confused by many of the women I encountered at my middle and the neighboring public middle school.  Overall, it was a strange time and not much made sense at all in regards to women. It was like elementary school me, who thought he was the love doctor, got suddenly shy when we got to middle school.

High school would see several changes. I spent a lot of time on confusion, teases that went nowhere, or girlfriend for a day moments.  In essence, as my homie, Chris Mead, and I often discuss; if we knew what we know now, we would've had different lives in high school. However, we are quite content in how high school turned out and would have probably created more problems than benefits for us in the long run.  In high school, I could never tell who was into me. Therefore, minus perhaps three people I dated, I really didn't know how to play the game.  While I look at it as a hundred missed opportunities and far too much my time on myspace & wouldyouhitthis.com, I think overall my time with women in high school was a huge learning experience.

College would see me go from zero to 60 very fast. Outside of dating one person, I'd say college was hook up central. Funny thing was that the hookups were not to occur much at the university.  Much of these hookups occurred in the debauchery (ask me offline if you ever want to know more on this) I got myself into outside of college. Throughout my time in college, I wavered and was confused on what I really wanted: single? friends with benefits? hookups and one night stands? or something else entirely? This confusion was only fueled by the variety of women I met in my organizations, roommates, jobs and schools of study during my time there.  At the end of it all, I would come out both a confused and more confident man about my goals.

Teach for America, would provide an opportunity for a high lack of commitment. While I ultimately did end up dating a couple of people, most of time was spent being unsure if I wanted to even deal with the commitment of being with someone in Houston.  TFA was basically a time where I made out with a  lot of people and nothing else. As a matter of fact, the only people I went further with were people I dated…go figure.  I think part of this reason was that TFA had a lot of fun people who were unsure of their career choices. At this point, we were all out of college, but not far out enough to know what we wanted.  While I'd honestly say I was a wilder person in college than in TFA Houston, I was much more private and poignant about the wild times I did have.

Atlanta would become the wildest time I would ever have with women.  While I didn't officially date anyone, I do believe I hooked up with more people consistently during this time.  Furthermore, when going back to California during the holidays and the summer after, I would frequently hook up even more there.  Thus, from the summer of 2012 to the summer of 2013, I did enough stereotypical young male lifestyle to get it out of my system.  I felt like a king in Atlanta. Oddly enough, I felt like a king back in California too. However, this would ultimately lead me into a shifted mindset as I went into my next phase.

NYC so far has been about me trying to get into a relationship and the myriad of online methods I'm using to do so.  Much of this has already been written about in my previous blogs. However, I know now that I truly do want to find that special someone; as I emotionally, physically and mentally have that investment. While I am young, I will continue my search. As you can see from my history, I've had enough learning and experiences to know what I truly want now.

Stay tuned for South Africa Part 2. This will be coming up soon as I'm staying on a Saturday due to me being sick.