Identity and Interracial Relationships (One part of many types)

This past week and last weekend more questions on racial identity and what it means to me came up.

If there is one concept that one can glean from my blog is what I care about: social interactions, social issues (gender, sexuality, and racial), media outlets (hip-hop, literature, tv shows) and of course travel.

However, recently three thoughts have come up from my peers. This I will address each based on my opinion and experience.

1. Transsexual Movement - This is a big topic based on TIME magazine recent article with Laverne Cox which has gotten my friends in an assortment of feelings. Whether they share out about transgender individuals they know, how they think children would deal with them, and how some are surprised that Laverne Cox is prettier than some women they know. It has been surprising to see who is in support and who is aware of the movement. For now it is speculation and discussion; however, as for children one peer shot that down in saying that,
"Honestly, children are going to be exposed to nearly everything in the world, so no sense in hiding more from them."

2. Who is the black man? - Last weekend my friends from TFA and I discussed the image of the black man in the line of business and outside of it with a NYC corporate slave and his peers.
Note: this man was black as were some of his peers. His girlfriend was white, while his dancing and mannerisms were unique to him.  Anyways, he viewed money over power (House of Cards) and didn't mind being a slave to the money (his words) and to an image.  He was not concerned whatsoever about his heritage/culture in how he represents it.  In a sense, he's made it and is successful, but at this cost of his identity?   This is a long-standing debate about being true to your community v. self, survival of the fittest v. game theory.  It is essentially, the question I ask myself about my students should I be happy if they're corporate or legal drones because they've made success or disappointed that they are not helping out the community in which they came from?  It's hard to trip this line as my plight is analogous to this idea.  For example, I am teacher who by nature helps their community; however, I can't deny the success and upward mobility I have gained as I have continued to teach.  I think most important in all this is not to forget your heritage, respect your culture and never forget what the world still continues to see you as….a dangerous black man.

3. Miscegenation - The previous point brings us to another facet of mixed identity. My views around interracial dating/marriage have changed throughout my times. I'm still conflicted on it, though that barber shop video that revolves around interracial dating brought some attention to my racial prejudice. While I would say that I'm extremely pro nearly any aspect that lacks privilege: disability, gender, sexuality, all races. I still have some trepidation with whites dating blacks. Yes, I'm aware of who I am (mom is Portuguese, essentially white and dad is African-American), I'm also aware of who I've dated, I'm also aware I flip-flop on this topic and again I still have my hang-ups.
Being raised mixed has never been easy, but I am glad that dad pushed the struggle of the African-American. On the other hand, I practically had to drag the information out of my mom to tell me about Portuguese history and how she barely knows any (at this point I think I know more than she does). All in all, you've got two different paths of thought that somehow combined: Dad - know your heritage, know your culture and never forget that. Mom - be an assimilationist and slowly conjoin your culture to that of America. As I continue to let some personal thoughts out, I have to think how many times my Dad and I have discussed how mom would view a lot of ideas, how she doesn't get it sometimes and how she is with the South and the world that my brother exposed her to. However, she is a trooper for loving three hard-headed African-American men and arguably my parents have one of the best representations of love I've ever seen.  I also have two cool white ladies I know who have always been down in relationships with black men who are as happy as can be.
Thus, here are some ideas that I think restrain me from the full acceptance of interracial love. From a white male to black female perspective, I have difficultly getting over the whole white male, dominance, ancestral cognizance. When I see a white man in relationship with another ethnic woman I think of historical dominance spreading and also in how I'm not sure if that man will ever be able to relate to that child that, "yes people who liked me in the past enslaved, conquered, beat, raped etc…people that looked like your mom." It's a hard one for me and I really don't know anyone in that relationships so I'm not sure. From a white woman to black male perspective, my time in the South (particularly ATL) has made me steer away from this relationship due to my now immense sense of black love and respect for African-American females. I like to empower them over anyone and sometimes view this sense of mixing as a new/or different class level of acceptance for black men….which brings up a great question to ask my dad (the progress he would've made without my mom would've been marginal in comparison).  At the same time, there is a high variance in personalities of people as there are several white women I know who are fantastic people period and completely understand their privilege while loving their ethnic/black men unconditionally. As such, I think my disgruntlement with this relationship should wane considering my own parents and the awesomeness of having double identities.  However, the white male dominance is quite hard for me to deal with and I'm fairly open in my disapproval in how much in charge of the world and America they are.

This is just some identification rambling that I'm sure many can relate to.Would love to hear the thoughts