I'm sure some of you have been wondering about my statuses and this book I'm reading...Let's just say I'm single and we'll leave it at that. On a different note, the book He's Scared, She's Scared: The Hidden Fears that Sabotage Relationships. While reading this book I analyzed my entire life and past relationships in thorough detail even writing all of the information down while listening to some Emeli Sande. It was cathartic as I discovered new emotions, realized I had anxiety, wanted a tattoo, found out thoughts from my past that I never even knew about it. Furthermore, I found that I sabotaged every relationship I had due to my anxiety that lead me to impulses, distancing, faultfinding and a whole lot worse in all of my relationships. I really needed to sit with this book sooner, but then again I also didn't know if I would've had the maturity and solitude to really sit through and analyze my life.
As such, the book led to positive moments whether that was thinking before I spoke (it's miraculous) or giving gifts to the people that matter the most besides myself. I was also able to ask my parents, grandparents and relatives about their ups and downs about relationships and loving imperfections through compromise, a trait which I am working on. The relationship knowledge also drove me to be more respectful and appreciative of my family which I never really was before that (it was wonderful to reconnect with my brother and start a connection with my niece!). The other relationships I developed last week was connecting to the friends who matter the most and developing those bonds as they and I reached out to each other. I learned a lot of relationships advice from them too and was genuinely to spend quality time with them.
In the end, I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to have a Christmas without revelations and ramifications. However, I am thankful for what I've learned and my daily reminders to hopefully help me become a much better person for myself, family, friends and whoever I happen to meet. With that being said feel free to ask anything about this transformation that I hope to continue and stay committed through the next stages of my life.