Soul-Searching

No I don't have a media list, Black/Bi-racial movement, or a travel moment, I simply want to write out my thoughts. In essence, that is what every blog is. How much we wish to write about ourselves in the hopes that our friends or random people will care about our thoughts or opinions on a topic. Considering that I have often found myself opinionated, this is something that I am working and a blog gives me a chance to express my thoughts in a space without going over the top with arrogance.

Anyways,
The past few months and certainly the past year, I have a deeper analysis on myself than I ever have in my life. Through this journey, I have learned I need to continue the soul-searching. As such, let me give you a bit of knowledge from what I have been learning for the past year.
At the end of the last year, I realized I had commitmentphobia issues and a whole lot more. I have talked at length about that in another blog, but they are realizations that continue to happen - struggle through ups and downs is difficult. I have some regrets about that, but I continue to work on it. I also learned a lot about independent skill sets through 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This book would help me become self-sufficient in this city and elsewhere really. The Four Agreements and the latter part of 7 Habits would help me consciously think before I spoke when interacting with other people. From the Slight Edge, I learned about compounding skills and at least try to attempt to write down 3 positive moments every day. Lastly, Breaking the Cycle would be my own personal triumph to help my own processes.

Since those books, I have learned that I need to read books on selflessness (becoming self-sufficient also means I became a bit more selfish) and cleaning - a skill that both of my parents severely lack as well. Those two conditions are skill-sets I would enjoy working on. However, there are many other self-help books I'd be happy to read to improve my mindset and thinking as a whole.

As I continue to look inward, I notice that I often force or demand relationships, friendships, jobs or ideas to happen rather than let nature take its course. This has often created a fractured sense of structure with my surroundings and has more than once proven to be a mistake (a past relationship, a great friendship from last year, ideologies being imposed). The last bit of soul-searching is one I need to let events in life occur naturally. A lot of great moments have happened within my  life and I'm a great place. There is no need to force actions that are meant for later.

Overall, this was sparked by reading some of my self-help propaganda around my apartment. Still, I will continue on my journey through my mind, soul and body to find peace and understanding with not only myself, but others.