The past few months and certainly the past year, I have a deeper analysis on myself than I ever have in my life. Through this journey, I have learned I need to continue the soul-searching. As such, let me give you a bit of knowledge from what I have been learning for the past year.
At the end of the last year, I realized I had commitmentphobia issues and a whole lot more. I have talked at length about that in another blog, but they are realizations that continue to happen - struggle through ups and downs is difficult. I have some regrets about that, but I continue to work on it. I also learned a lot about independent skill sets through 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This book would help me become self-sufficient in this city and elsewhere really. The Four Agreements and the latter part of 7 Habits would help me consciously think before I spoke when interacting with other people. From the Slight Edge, I learned about compounding skills and at least try to attempt to write down 3 positive moments every day. Lastly, Breaking the Cycle would be my own personal triumph to help my own processes.
Since those books, I have learned that I need to read books on selflessness (becoming self-sufficient also means I became a bit more selfish) and cleaning - a skill that both of my parents severely lack as well. Those two conditions are skill-sets I would enjoy working on. However, there are many other self-help books I'd be happy to read to improve my mindset and thinking as a whole.
As I continue to look inward, I notice that I often force or demand relationships, friendships, jobs or ideas to happen rather than let nature take its course. This has often created a fractured sense of structure with my surroundings and has more than once proven to be a mistake (a past relationship, a great friendship from last year, ideologies being imposed). The last bit of soul-searching is one I need to let events in life occur naturally. A lot of great moments have happened within my life and I'm a great place. There is no need to force actions that are meant for later.
Overall, this was sparked by reading some of my self-help propaganda around my apartment. Still, I will continue on my journey through my mind, soul and body to find peace and understanding with not only myself, but others.