Purpose, Reflection, and Future

Recently, I have been in a deep analysis as to who I am and what purpose do I serve in my own life, the lives of others and on this earth. I am not a spiritual crusader, but I do ponder on one's mission or meaning in life. As I nearly turn 30, I am at a crossroads in what to do with myself. Logical progression years ago seemed to teach which turned into leadership which turned into running my own school or becoming a professor. Then I lived and explored Southeast Asia for two months which led me to wanting to get out of America fast. With our new president it has only solidified that want.  

I began to research how to teach abroad, specifically around social studies and english. I had hopes for possibly teaching High School or sticking with what I already knew in middle school. I joined a few different institutions from Search Associates, research with International School Services, and Teachaway and a few others. Ultimately the Search Associates Fair, was a great experience, but due to missing out on a chance at teaching at Lebanon, I began to wonder my true reasons for wanting to teach abroad and true reasons for wanting to teach.

As such, I was led to believe I may have been going about this wrong. I was led to that by a great self-help book called What Color is Your Parachute? Within the book there is a thorough process called the Flower Method that takes a look at your thought process in regards to skills, knowledges, and locations and people for work. As such, I realized that teaching is almost but not quite satisfactory for what I wish to do with myself. Now, there is a process for still teaching a year abroad with Teaching Nomad to cover some college  and credit card debts. This is acceptable in China even though it prolongs what I want to do with myself. Still, it would be simply building towards a transition.

This transition has me looking at museum and historical research jobs as I think that that is truly what I'm best at besides travel. However, the research could even lead me to more travel to research the history of various civilizations in a cultural and social sense. As I am better at working with data and information around the humanities subjects this fit will be better for me. Thus, I am looking at jobs that focus on this through film and writing. So far, the museum world of NYC (Natural History Museum), The Smithsonian and it's African-American Culture Museum, and organizations such as the History Channel, Discovery Channel, PBS and National Geographic have a high appeal to me for research, study, writing, filmography and museum curation.

I may regret the years I lost on not knowing myself, but I don't regret the purpose I gave to hundreds of young Black and Brown kids in the US. In the end, my future lies elsewhere and all roads will lead to this. 

The Shallow End

Anyways, why the name "the shallow end?" Well it's because I'm not drowning anymore. The past few weeks I have been reeling back into a place that I have only been since before I started working with students. As such, it has certainly solidified the concept that students/kids/children broke me out of what I'm going to simply name as high-functioning depression. It is something I have gone in and out of for years before I started Troy Camp.

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